Finally, Jonathan declares interest in 2015 election

President Goodluck Jonathan on Thursday finally declared interest in contesting the 2015 presidential election. He told Peoples Democratic Party leaders at the Presidential Villa, Abuja that he would procure nomination form of the party before the deadline. He has also set up a presidential declaration committee saddled with the responsibility of coming up with a formal programme for his declaration. The committee is headed by a former Minister of Defence, Dr. Haliru Bello. The declaration would be held between November 7 and 15. Details later.

Bill to end degree, HND dichotomy passes second reading

A bill for an Act to abolish and prohibit dichotomy and discrimination between first degree and the Higher National Diploma certificates in the same profession and field scaled the second reading on the floor of the Senate on Wednesday. The bill, sponsored by the member representing Ondo Central Senatorial District, Ayo Akinyelure, specifically seeks to end the ongoing controversy over wage disparity and gross discrimination against HND holders in the public and private sectors. He said, “The aftermath of continuing injustices, disparity and discriminations meted out to products of polytechnics in Nigeria is threatening to derail the nation’s core policy thrust of evolving a technological and scientifically-based and self-reliant society in the nearest future. “As I speak, thousands of would-be polytechnic and technology students are contemplating or have decided to opt for university education because of perceived and real discrimination against HND graduates. “If this contemplation occurs, there is bound to be a vacuum created in our labour market in this regard and dire consequences are bound to follow this trend. “Over the years, several entreaties have been put forth to the Federal Civil Service authorities to put a stop to certain glaring wage disparities and discrimination against the HND holders, and all these have been to no avail.” He said to make matters worse, certain federal parastatals are known to openly discriminate against HND holders to the extent of limiting their progress within the hierarchy of such government bodies.

25 Things a woman never wants to hear

We love our boy-toys, but sometimes (by virtue of being men), they say completely the wrong things. Between mansplaining and Esquire and poker night with the bros, there’s a lot of misinformation out there as to what your girlfriend does(n’t) want to hear. Let’s be clear: There’s a never a time when we want pet names for our pussy. Good talk. Some things, like the above, should rather be put in that special cabinet of “Things You Don’t Say To Your Girlfriend,” along with the “Ex-Files.” Boyfriends everywhere, you guys are awesome, but you could be doing even better if you just didn’t share every single thought that runs through your head. Remember, hanging out with your girlfriend is not a poetry slam. Here are 25 things you DON’T want to hear your boyfriend say: 1. WHERE ARE YOUR FRIENDS? Uh, we’re very well-aware that our friends haven’t arrived yet, and it’s already midly stressing us out. A better question is why are you so concerned about it? In these tense situations, the best thing to do is support us, not make us feel bad — or worse, suspicious. 2. DID YOU JUST FART? Please, for the love of G-d, pretend like all you heard was birds chirping. This is horrifying enough without calling direct attention to it. 3. I DREAMT ABOUT CHANNING TATUM LAST NIGHT. That’s really only okay when we say it. This is one of those things that gets filed under “Stuff You Don’t Share With Your Girlfriend,” right next to “chlamydia.” 4. LET’S GO FOR A RUN TOGETHER! Yeah, and afterwards let’s jump into an ocean full of hammerhead sharks while voluntarily sawing each other’s big toes off. That’s what love is all about, right? Doing stuff together? 5. IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN? Use your imagination here. Or don’t. Both raise equal cause for concern and are guaranteed to freak us out. 6. MY EX WANTS TO MEET FOR COFFEE. Normally we’re not one for generalizations, but we’re going to make an exception: any sentence that begins with “My ex…” and doesn’t end with “was the worst person on the planet and I hope to never see her again” should be refrained from admitting aloud to us. In fact, we’d prefer if you never thought of her, ever. 7. ANOTHER PAIR OF SHOES? DO YOU REALLY NEED THOSE? Shoes are sacred and are not meant to be understood by the male species. It’s like how we respect your right to football — you cannot question that which you do not appreciate. You have your balls, we have our feet. 8. RAY RICE SEEMS LIKE A REALLY COOL GUY. And Chris Brown would make a good wingman? We sincerely hope that’s a failed attempt at joking. 9. BABE, I THINK IT’S TIME WE ADOPT A MACROBIOTIC DIET. Sure, does that mean I can eat cookies only in the closet then? We’re all for improving our lifestyles and motivating each other to healthier, as long as it includes some flexibility in our diets. Let’s first start with baby steps, like ordering vodka on the rocks. 10. THANKS FOR THE BIRTHDAY GIFT, BUT I REALLY CAN’T ACCEPT THIS. That’s not how rejecting a gift goes! You’re supposed to just take it and pretend to use it and then put it someplace you’ll immediately forget about that will eventually go missing. Gosh. 11. LET’S WATCH “INDIANA JONES” TONIGHT! Okay, great! Right after we watch “27 Dresses” and eat so much popcorn that we pass out from giving birth to food babies. You have the best ideas, boo. 12. WHICH GIRL? If he asks which girl we’re referring to (especially when we’re on his cell phone), it’s never a good thing. Red flags all around. 13. WILL YOU MOVE TO NORWAY WITH ME? Do they ship the Blueprint cleanse there? Can I get almond milk? 14. RELAX, CALM DOWN. Men, you should know by now that saying “relax” when we’re emotional and heated has the opposite effect. It diminishes our feelings and makes us feel stupid. Just don’t go there. 15. YOU WOULD LOOK GREAT IN THE OUTFIT THAT GIRL IS WEARING. We know this is code for “that girl is hot.” Stop checking her out in front of us. We’re totally onto you. 16. I’M RUNNING LATE AGAIN, SORRY. We’ll just stand here scrolling through Instagram for the 100th time, pretending like we haven’t seen (or heard) this before. But we aren’t happy about it. 17. MY MOM WANTS TO HAVE ONE-ON- ONE BRUNCH WITH YOU. Does that mean we should or should not drink during the meal? And do we get to call-in any lifelines? The only thing worse than exclusive quality time with your mother is the birthday gift she advised you on. 18. OOPS! WRONG HOLE! UH!?!?! Then which is it?!?!?! 19. WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS THING ON MY BACK? We will, but we’d rather not. Cue the skeevies. 20. HOW MANY CHIPS IS THAT? Way too many for you to keep track. But thank you for trying, really. 21. WE SHOULD TAKE A FLORAL ARRANGEMENT CLASS. This happened. It was weird. And we still feel a little bit strange writing about it now. 22. IT’S NOT REAL. In reference to: the diamond, your boner, our love, our personal work struggles. That one never goes over well. The struggle is, in fact, very real, guys. 23. SHE’S A GREAT GIRL. YOU SHOULD GIVE HER A CHANCE. Yeah? Should we also give covering ourselves in gasoline and lighting a match a chance, too? Because we’d rather do that than befriend a girl who wears overalls sans-underneath- clothes when she comes to visit you. 24. YOU LOOK FINE. Equally as bad: you look the same. Just make some more descriptive adjective up, please, and then we’ll never ask you how we look again… Until tomorrow. Isn’t having a girlfriend so much fun!? 25. I CAN’T FEEL ANYTHING WITH THIS CONDOM ON. We can’t hear anything that you’re saying with these earplugs in, either! Wrap it, or don’t tap it.

See What Buhari Said Will Happen To Nigeria If PDP is Given Four More Years

Presidential aspirant, General Muhammadu Buhari (Rtd) came down heavily on the ruling Party (PDP), saying Nigeria would be washed away as a country if the ruling party is given four more years in office in the 2015 general election. In the same vein, the Chairman of the Arewa Consultative Forum (ACF), Ibrahim Coomassie, in a goodwill message delivered on his behalf by Barrister Solomon Dalung, urged northerners not to allow themselves to be divided by the artificial differences created by politicians. ACF urged politicians from the northern extraction to put the interest of the north first and above their personal interest, saying ACF’s desire is for a united north that could give credible leadership in the country. Speaking yesterday, in Kaduna, on behalf of other pres­ idential aspirants of APC, at the party’s Northern stake­ holders’ interactive meeting, General Buhari noted that Nigerians had become tired of incompetent leadership and urged the electorate to ensure that free, fair and credible elections that will usher in credible leaders at all levels of governance in the country are held. APC presidential aspirants present at the meeting included former Vice President, Atiku Abubakar, Kano State Governor, Rabiu Musa Kwankwaso, and Sam Nda Isaiah. Other members were Zamfara State Governor, Abdulazeez Yari, APC Deputy National Chairman (North), Senator Lawal Shuaibu, among others. The former Head of State described 2015 as another year of extreme concern to Nigerians, urging participants at the meeting not to allow their members to be disenfranchised before or during the elections. Apparently, making caricature of huge presence of security operatives in Ekiti State during the gubernatorial election in the state, Buhari noted that the number of soldiers, police and SSS deployed to the state during the election, were enough to rescue the abducted Chibok girls if the same number was deployed to the troubled north east. He recalled with pains that he contested presidential election three times in the country and ended up in the Supreme Court to challenge his failure, saying that judges that ruled on the cases were his own brothers from the North, while those behind him were Southern Christians. Buhari said: “If PDP is given another four years to rule this country, Nigeria will go down the drain in 2015. This is because Nigerians are tired of incompetent leadership, so we must be ready to make sacrifices that will salvage the country, let us not allow our people to be disenfranchised during the elections, we must be united to ensure free, fair and credible elections in 2015. “I contested the Presidential election three times in this country and failed and ended up in the Supreme Courts and lost the case. The first time the judges agreed that there were no elections and they were all Christians, but the second time, the judges that declared that the PDP had won despite the irregularities, were Fulanis from Adamawa and Taraba, and a Nupe man, that was when I understood that it was not about religion and ethnicity, but Naira and Dollar. So, there is the need for the party to be united and make a difference in the general elections in 2015.” Meanwhile, in his opening speech, the APC Deputy National Chairman (North), Senator Lawal Shuaibu said one of the reasons for the stakeholders meeting was to sensitize the leaders of the party about their roles as guardians and conscience of the party. Shuaibu said, “We expect that at the end of this meeting, we will be able to develop and adopt strategies for enhancing party unity and discipline. We equally hope that aside from what the constitution specifies, we will be able to come up with home-spurned internal conflict resolution mechanisms that will solidify the party and build it into a strong institution.

How they used Jonathan’s name to dupe us — UNIPORT students

Is a top official of the Presidential Villa, Abuja (names withheld) involved in a case of extortion lodged by some students of University of Port-Harcourt (UNIPORT) and for which two suspects are now being held by the police, or was it simply a case of impersonation? This is a puzzle for the police to resolve after the President of the National Association of Akwa Ibom State Students, (NAAKISS), Rivers State Chapter, and a law student of UNIPORT, Udo Odud Joseph, and his colleagues in the association, alleged that the top Aso Rock official’s name was used to extort them of N480,000. The bait was the N20 million allegedly donated by President Goodluck Jonathan to NAAKISS in aid of the inauguration of the Managing Director of the Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC), Sir Bassey Dan Abio, as the association’s Grand Patron. Jonathan had been invited to the occasion as the Special Guest of Honour, and especially for appointing Abia, an Akwa Ibom indegene, as the NDDC chief helmsman. The two suspects were said to have been arrested on Friday, September 19 by operatives at Asokoro Police Station, Abuja as they attempted to collect another N560,000, being the balance of the N950,000 described as public relations money to facilitate the release of the N20million allegedly donated to NAAKISS by the president, from their victims. It was not clear if the suspects were still being kept by the police. Sunday Vanguard also could not obtain their statements to the police. Meanwhile, the top Aso Rock official, whose name was used in the scam, denied involvement. A report on the alleged scam by the NAAKISS leader, Joseph, for the attention of Jonathan, was reportedly copied to the Chief Security Officer to Mr President, Mr Gordon Obua. Obua could not be reached to comment on the matter at press time. The report, according to a source, however, insinuated there might be an insider’s collaboration in Aso Rock in the scam, notwithstanding the top official’s denial of involvement. The students association leader narrated their story in the 54-paragraph report made available to Sunday Vanguard. “I, on behalf of my association made a publication on Vanguard Newspaper of Monday, 11th August, 2014 on felicitation/appointment of our illustrious son, Sir Bassey Dan Abia as our Grand Patron”, Joseph wrote. He continued: “On Tuesday 12th August 2014, one Mr. Timi Ekiyo, who introduced himself as the Personal Assistant (PA) to the MD of NDDC called me. “He said the MD of NDDC asked him to call me regarding the publication of our association of Monday 11th August, 2014 to thank me. That I will be called later. “After a week or so I called the said Timi Ekiyor and to ask him that the executive members of NAAKISS RSUST Chapter wanted to present a formal certificate of appointment to the NDDC MD as our Grand Patron. “After some days, the PA (Timi Ekiyor) called and told me we should write formally and request for audience but put the date not later than 14 days precisely 3rd of September, 2014. I also sought the advice of the said PA (Mr. Timi Ekiyor) that we intended to invite dignitaries to grace the occasion for us. He asked me to carry him along. “Since we expressed our thanks to Mr. President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria in our publication in newspaper for appointing our illustrious son, Dan Abia, as the MD of NDDC, we decided to invite Mr. President to grace the occasion. “The DHL report of who received the letter of invitation of Mr. President: Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, GCFR, as our Special Guest of Honour is hereby attached and marked exhibit 8. In the DHL report attached, is one Muyiwa that received the letter from the DHL personnel. From my conversation with the DHL personnel, I was made to understand that letter from DHL is usually received at the pilot gate at the Villa, State House, Abuja. “On 29th August 2014 somebody called me on phone. He said our letter of invitation to Mr. President dated 18th August, 2014 had been received by the president. However, he said the president will not be able to attend the occasion because that date is a state council meeting day but he has approved N20m for the Association, as his own support. “I then asked him: `who are you?’ He said he is a top Presidency official (names and designation withheld). I further asked him: how do we get this support from Mr. President? He said we had to go through the Accountant -General of the Federation. “The first thing I did was to inform one of our outside Patrons, Elder Justus Ekere, staying in Abuja to investigate for me the following information: (a)Whether there is a designation as that of the State House official. (b)If so, what is the name? ( c)Whether if the president makes this kind of support to the association, the official was supposed to be aware. Our Patron, with the assistance of his friend who works in the Villa, confirmed the information to be true. .The following points made me to believe: (a)The caller pin pointed my letter of invitation to Mr. President dated 18th August, 2014 which was not published but sent through DHL and could not have been known by anybody except an insider. (b)The existence of the position of State House official which the caller said he is and was confirmed by our Patron Elder Justus Ekere with the help of his friend who works in the Villa to be true. (c )The name of the official which the caller said is his name was also confirmed to be true. (d)That the official was in position to treat such case was also true and confirmed. (e)That the Accountant – General is also in position to pay the money. ‘Public relations’ “It was in line with this belief that I called the `official’ through the number he used to call me to guide me on how to go about collecting the N20m. The ‘official’ told me that he knew that we are students and that it may not be easy for us to be coming from Port Harcourt to pursue the payment. He then informed me that he will help to arrange the payment, but we must do PR otherwise for one year that money will not reach our hands. I told him whatever is the PR they should deduct it from the N20m when they pay. “The `official’ told me that in the Villa, every PR is paid cash. That is because many people had shown untruthfulness to them. After helping them to get what they want they show them their back. “He told me that he would see what he could do but we should let him find out how much PR the people wanted to bring out the support of Mr President to us. “He then called me and told me that there were three offices involved for the file to pass through for payment: (a)The Chief Security Officer (CS0) (b)The Office of Accountant – General (c )The Office of the Director of Administration. That these three offices, the PR is N950,000.00 . He then said he will pay half of that money so that we also pay half. That when the N20m is paid we can re- emburse him for the half he paid and then we can appreciate him if we wanted for making things easier for us. He then said we should pay N480,000. “He then sent the account number to me to pay, but the account holder’s name was not the name of the `official’ he said he is. I asked him that the account holder’s name is different from his name. He told me that the account holder’s name is the name of the personnel in Accountant – General office that will pay the money. “I believed him and borrowed the money and paid in. He started to communicate with me and asked me to prepare a proposal and bring to him. I prepared a proposal comprising seven items which are listed in the letter titled: Expression of thanks/ creation of legacy for remembrance purpose. Proposal “The `official’ then invited me to come to Abuja with the proposal to collect the N20m. I went with my Vice President. The cost of what we spent in Abuja is N450,000 which we borrowed to pay back when we returned with the hope that we will get the N20m support of Mr. President. “On reaching Abuja I called the `official’ who told me that I should wait as he was busy, that he will call us to come to the Villa when the N20m was ready. He said he was going to meet the Accountant – General himself to tell him that the President and Vice of the association were in Abuja for the N20m, he should help. “He called me again to say he was sorry as the Accountant – General said the PR we did was for the office staff. That his personal PR is N560,000.. I begged him that I was not informed when we left Port Harcourt, he should plead with the Accountant – General to pay us and deduct from there. He told me that he had earlier informed me that people in the Villa do not agree on that because of their experience of how people showed their back when they get what they wanted. “It was then I reported the matter to our Patron Elder Justus Ekere and he linked us with his friend in the Villa. They then paved way for me to see the ‘official’ in person on Friday 19th of September, 2014. “On entering the office of the `official’ I introduced my self as the president of the National Association of Akwa Ibom State Students Rivers State Chapter (RSUST). I told him that I came in respect of the appointment he gave me concerning the N20m support he informed me on phone that Mr. President donated to our association in respect of our invitation to him on the occasion of our formal presentation of certificate of appointment to Sir Bassey Dan Abia. “He then told me that he was not aware of it. I brought out documents and showed him about the invitation of Mr. President and the number he usually used to communicate with me. He asked me to call the number in his office, which I did. “The phone rang and the person who usually communicated with me in his name picked the phone and asked me where I was. The authentic official told me that I could see that he was not the person that used to communicate with me. “I was disorganized but God gave me wisdom immediately. I went out of the official’s office and called the impersonator and told him that I called my people in Port Harcourt and told them what happened and they sent the N560,000 cash to me to ensure I pay him and come back with the N20m donation of Mr. President. “He asked me where I was. I told him I was at First, Bank, A.Y.A. Asokoro Branch with the cash. But I was going to my hotel because I was afraid people may snatch the money from me. “He said he was sending his PA to come and collect the money and the proposal from me. It was at that point the friend to our Patron went to Asokoro Police Station to get the police to arrest the impersonator while I was heading to my hotel to see him and played along with him until the police came. “This was how we succeeded in arresting the impersonator’s PA who then led the police to arrest his boss. The two of them: the PA to the impersonator and the impersonator himself are in Asokoro Police Station, Abuja.